I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
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I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
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110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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