is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
