I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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