I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
