At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
