"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
