guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
