like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So much rum. So many feels.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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