I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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