I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
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Alive.
So much puke
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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