He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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