i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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