my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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