it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
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Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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