butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
