he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
