Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
