who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
