My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
