She is in my trunk
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize