i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
