Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
