Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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