Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
