420 ftw
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
