Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
