apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
