i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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