stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
