it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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