i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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