The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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