We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
