well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
