Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
