I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
