did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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