I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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