Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
