Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
