Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
