I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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