I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
