Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Farmville is her only friend.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
