love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
