so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
