Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
