tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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