So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
