Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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