Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize