First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
