I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
