You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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