the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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