in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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