Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
