hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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