I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
where are my eyebrows?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
