Screwed.edu
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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