My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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