How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
"it" just moved
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
