i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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