Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
