Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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