You made me cry and you don't even care
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We are all done wearing pants today
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
