i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
