Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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