oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
